The Not To Do List

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A month ago, we hit that half-point of the year when we inevitably fall into time gauging mode, summing up our first half of 2026, possible highlights and lowlights.

In Mid-Year Reflections I shared thoughtful ways of looking at a year and valuable lessons on the meaning of time. I highly recommend you reading that piece before continuing.

July is marked by holidays, whether you are in the middle of yours, at the end or only about to get started. “Vacation” comes from the Latin root vacare meaning "to be empty, free, at leisure, exempt, released from duty or service”. But modern holidays are hardly empty, regardless of if there is a change of location and people present, or not. Vacation time can be warped, whether we’re working for ourselves or someone else. It has long been the norm to simply carry on working while on holiday: catching up, covering team gaps, remaining plugged-in and on-call, or at least offering to stay available for various work emergencies. Reward for doing that is seldom worth the quality of the present time lost.

With notions of what constitutes time on and time off way more fluid these days, chances are that you too quickly filled your “vacation void” with some sort of to do list.

Lists have a tendency of expanding until they’re too long. Over time, we inflate them with more ideas, our own and others’. The things otherwise easily forgotten get enthusiastically noted down, making them now seem important and even urgent. Having things jotted down on a list instantly looks closer to a smooth check-off. But lists can fool us into thinking we have more capacity, that we have a plan, that it is going to be efficient and that we are now being productive.

Between random thoughts that somehow fit themselves onto a notepad or the timestamped must-do’s that now clog up your calendar with reminders: few of these things are in fact important. Nor are they urgent. They are not making you stronger, better or wiser in any way. While many ideas are subjectively great, it doesn’t mean you have to do them all. They can be even greater when delegated, or simply, let go of.

Some ideas are just words strung together in a thought, and you attached meaning to them because of how they made you feel in that moment. Or the feelings you attach to the outcome.

I am a big fan of to do lists and will happily attest to them being helpful. That is because I revisit mine often and actively edit them, choosing what to keep, postpone or add, and what to give away or take off.

Writing a not to do list is really about not letting nonsense clutter your view of what matters.

Here’s how. First think about the purpose, your why or greater goal behind what occupies your time. Then check the list. You’ll soon see many of the items that are in fact swelling it are not supporting that same goal, or set of targets, nor are they helping you move closer to them. Keeping ideas on a list that lack genuine intent, realistic resources or dedicated time only gets in your way. They never gain proper footing, becoming a sure-fire route to overwhelm and self-sabotaging through procrastination.

What happens when we entertain a too-long-to-handle list during precious time-off, is that we essentially stay plugged-in to noise and distractions, exhausting ourselves. Not resting and recovering. Trying to fit in every idea under the sun into this juggling act of Olympian measures, steals our peace, attaches our mind to rigid ways and only makes it harder to focus on our true intentions.

By the way, what rarely goes on the list, but still needs to fit in somewhere, are all the little things. They matter too. From the banal like remembering to hydrate, and having space for yourself, to going for a walk after dinner, to enjoying the pause and the unplanned living that happens between bedtimes.

Naturally, not every item without great purpose is going to be cut, but you get the gist, it is about maintaining a structure that supports you.

Once you’ve moved the unrealistic or non-urgent things onto a not to do list, you’ll soon see a few things happen. It often feels like a burden or weight has been lifted off your shoulders, the space they occupied were simply bringing you down energetically. Secondly, it will feel oddly final and quite satisfactory to move things off the real to do list, because now you’re actively choosing what matters above what doesn’t. That action can feel like you already completed the item, ticked it off, and because it can no longer compete for your attention it is now an accomplishment in itself. Sometimes there is also a pattern between the items on the not to do list. Often, they point towards boundaries we could have reinforced sooner.

Doing this exercise of simplifying lists, makes what remains to be done clearer and therefore, the path to your goals becomes shorter.

As soon as you’ve tried it a few times you’ll notice how fewer non-relevant things sneak into your days, and time is on your side again.